20 June 2004 20:04
Comment: Eyes wide shut: The SDLP`s future is with the Irish Labour Party
ByLine: HENRY MCDONALD
IN PRE-GLASNOST days there was a particular joke that did the rounds in the Soviet Union.
A train is hurtling through the wastes of Siberia to Moscow. Somewhere on the journey west the engine grinds to a
halt and the passengers panic. They run off the train towards the top carriage seeking advice and help. In the first
compartment they find Lenin bent over a table, scouring papers and putting the finishing touches to his latest pamphlet.
The people ask Lenin what is to be done and the father of the USSR jumps off, delivers a rousing speech and implores the
staff and customers alike to put their shoulders to the back of the train, push it forward and then the engine will
start up again.
Lenin's stirring rhetoric works and the train moves off picking up speed until it races on through the night. A
few hours later, however, the engine stutters once more to a halt and again those on board alight from the carriages and
make their way towards the front of the train. In the second carriage sits Stalin smoking his pipe while ticking off
names typed out on a very long list. Stalin is implored to help get the train re-started so Uncle Joe gets off, takes
out a pistol from his overcoat and shoots the first six people in sight. He then warns the rest of his fellow passengers
that unless they get their shoulders behind the back carriage and thrust the train forward they will meet the same fate.
The staff and customers tremble and cower behind the train, but finally push it along the rails until the engine kicks
in and the journey begins again.
Several hours later the train breaks down again and this time the nervous passengers rush to the third carriage from
the top and spot Kruschev inside. The bald headed former general leaps out onto the side of the rails and promises all
those that get behind the train will be rewarded at their final destination with television sets, fridges, washing
machines etc. Relieved that they are not about to be shot the crowd on the side of the train run to the back and push it
forward until it moves again.
Finally, later in the night the train comes to what sounds like an irrevocable stop somewhere in the middle of
nowhere. The frustrated passengers clamber out of their bunks and trudge wearily up the train once more to the carriage
just behind Kruschev's. There they find Brezhnev smoking a cigar and scooping caviar from a jar. They tell Brezhnev
that the train has broken down and ask him what he intends to do about it. Brezhnev gets up, leans over to the
passengers and asks if there are curtains on the train. When the crowd reply yes, he goes to the window, pulls across
the curtains and informs them that the train is now moving.
READING MARK Durkan's speech aimed at rallying the dispirited masses of the SDLP reminded me of Brezhnev's
response to the desperate passengers on the Moscow Express. The SDLP has just lost more than 100,000 votes between the
1999 European elections and last week's Euro-poll. They have fallen further behind Sinn Fein in the battle for
northern nationalist votes.
Addressing election workers on Friday last, the SDLP leader blamed the party's poor showing on the low turnout,
which incredibly he put down to people's frustration over the sus pension of the Assembly and the North-South
institutions. Now how many of you out there know people who did not bother to vote because there is no cross-border body
on animal health in operation at present? To borrow an infamous expression from Wimbledon - he cannot be serious.
Durkan is correct in his assertion that the DUP and Sinn Fein feed off each other; the more unionists lean towards
Paisleyism, the more nationalists react to this by siding with the Provos. For the SDLP, the politics of nationalism are
turning a deeper shade of green at every election. The party's message of moderation and compromise is becoming
irrelevant to an electorate radicalised through an ideology of ethnic rage.
He can pull the curtains across if he wishes but the SDLP express is definitely not moving on.
Mark Durkan is one of the most intelligent, decent and politicians on this island.
There is no future in a merger with Fianna Fail because the 'Republican Party', already upset over
Durkan's call for a No vote in the Citizenship Referendum, will ultimately look towards their first cousins in Sinn
Fein to form future coalitions if and when the IRA goes away for good.
Durkan can help drive another train, which runs on the fuel of social democratic values: the Irish Labour Party. Now
more than ever (to repeat the SDLP's own election slogan) Durkan's party needs to merge with its sister party
in the Socialist International. It's true that half the population in the North were so disgusted with ya-boo
sectarian headcount politics that they did not bother voting. An All-Ireland Labour Party provides that band of homeless
voters with a real alternative.
henry.mcdonald @observer.co.uk
[The Observer] |
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